GIFTSHOP

GIFTSHOP

Infernum Gift Shop

PRICING STRUCTURE

AND PRODUCT NOTES

All items can be paid for with either health or vitality (regular HP or MAX HP), or with Blood Coins.
Each item has a listed value in either HP or Blood Coins.
The exchange rate is 10 HP to 1 MAX HP. Generally, either are accepted, or a combination of both.
All weapons are made with hellfire tools by our qualified smiths, and never need repairs.
All items are produced right here in Infernum. As a result, they are extra effective here. As a secondary result, they may curse the buyer upon use. The chances for that are small, however.
We offer same minute delivery on all items.
There are no refunds or exchanges given. All sales are final.
There is no White Market. Don't ask about it. We're the only shop in Infernum.
Management wanted a 10-point list.
So here it is.

Adamantine Nail Polish

Coat your nails with this polish and turn them into deadly weapons. It allows a scratch attack as a bonus action that has a range of 5 feet, uses your DEX modifier to hit, and does 1D6 slashing damage to a target. Lasts for duration of combat.

Cursed version makes you bite your nails for 3 turns, taking 1D4 damage each turn.

5 uses. COST: 2

Asbestos Blanket

Being wrapped in this blanket, or hiding under or behind it, makes the user immune to all fire damage for up to a minute of exposure. After that, the blanket is beyond helping anyone.

Cursed version causes the breathing in of the asbestos, inspiring a severe coughing fit and making all rolls at disadvantage for 1 minute. Also, the user cannot speak more than one word at a time with a rather ugly croak, and they make a lot of hacking and phlehmy noise that others can hear.

Good for one battle or use. COST: 1

Ashen Rations

This is jerky made from fiendish beasts of undisclosed origin. Just accept that it's mystery meat and leave it at that. But, it never spoils and it completely satisfies your hunger with only a few bites. Let the elves have their stupid bread. Real races eat protein! It provides the benefit and bonus of a good meal.

Cursed version tastes like literal ash, causes the user to vomit and be sick for 12 hours. Disadvantage on all saving rolls and -2 damage to all attacks.

Contains 10 servings. COST: 3

Bag of Laundry Cleaning and Folding

This bag can hold one person's set of clothes and armour items. Overnight the items are washed, fixed and neatly folded. No armour kits are needed to maintain your gear. Plus, it comes out with a fresh scent that lasts all day and masks the fact that you didn't bathe.

Cursed version damages everything, putting holes in your regular clothes and taking 1 AC point off your armour permanently. No repair kit or smith can fix it.

Endless usage. COST: 3

Barbed Whip of Holding

This coiled whip of thorned and twisted vines will use DEX bonuses for attack and does 1D8+3 damage. If used to grapple instead, it does 1D6+2 and restrains the arms of an enemy, with a DC17 STR to break out of.

Cursed version wraps itself around you instead in a grapple and does the same. Grappled target cannot attack but can still run... which is recommended. Cursed die is rolled on each use.

Does not need a weapon kit to maintain. COST: 5

Barb-Wire Twine

You will receive a ball of string coated with tiny obsidian shards. It cannot be cut by any non-magical means and has a length of 50 feet. It requires a perception check at DC 16 to notice. Moving into the string will not break it and will cause 1D10 damage to anyone at walking speed and 3D10 damage to anyone moving at a running speed or faster.

Cursed version cuts the owner as they are stringing it up, causing 1D8 bleeding damage. It will do the same when they take it down (on a second cursed roll).

After it has done its bloody work 3 times, the twine loses its edge and effectiveness.

COST: 2

Bark of the Wrong Tree

This magical item appears to just be a piece of bark, but when you bite it, you appear as a local tree or shrub. You can see and hear just fine, and can end the spell's effects at any time. Surprise! Stab! Stab!

Cursed version turns you into an actual tree and traps your soul within. Your companions need to cut you down to turn you back... giving you 1D10+4 damage in the process. Cutting you down requires an axe. Make sure your friends pack one. They can also set you on fire, and then you'll be a person again... and dead.

Bark is good for two transformations.

COST: 2

Belt of Low Gravity

Wearing this red, stylish belt allows the user to jump 30 feet in height and/or distance and take no fall damage. Hits, shoves or collisions send you backwards 1D8 spaces. Lasts for 1 hour. It needs a STR check at DC 16 to remove before the hour is up (the buckle tends to catch. We're looking into it).

Cursed version does the opposite, doubling gravity and making all movement 1/2 normal speed. But, you cannot be moved against your will, so no bouncer is pushing you out of the tavern.

The buckle breaks after four uses and belt is useless. We're looking into that too.

COST: 1

Blood-Ink Quill

This quill needs no ink and writes on any surface with a glowing script that only the user and allies he/she designates can see. It's perfect for marking out those secret entrances, or for writing terrible insults on the mayor's house that the whole town (except them) can read.

Cursed version draws ink from the user's blood and does 1 point of damage for each word or symbol drawn. Player rolls for that AFTER they have written or drawn on something. Short and sweet might be for the best.

Endless usage. COST: 1

Brimstone Mace

This is a heavy bludgeoning weapon, topped with a chunk of unrefined and smoking brimstone. Perfect for disgraced paladins (and others), it can instantly shatter or destroy any non-magical item of armour or a shield held by an opponent, removing that AC bonus. It does 1D10+3 damage and on an attack roll of 15 or higher (on the die roll itself) it destroys the armour.

Cursed version will damage any armour you are wearing (but not destroy it) causing you to lose 1 AC point on that gear. Can happen multiple times. Armour kits needed at 2X to restore that damage and make armour normal again. Cursed die is rolled on each use.

Does not need a weapon kit to maintain. COST: 5

Brimstone Soap

Wash with this small bar before bed and awake with shiny and clean skin... and +6 HP for 24 hours (or until stabbed with something). It is perfect for getting rid of that hard-to-remove dragon or daemon blood.

Cursed version leaves the skin dry and cracked giving disadvantage on all charisma checks and -2 HP for 24 hours that cannot be restored via any means during that time.

Soap is good for 5 washings on normal creatures and 2 for extra large ones. If two close friends bathe together, it will deplete one usage and give bonuses to both (or curses). Plus, people will talk, so make sure you're ready to go public.

COST: 2

Cast of Constant Casting

This medical arm cast is infused with demonic writing and old runes (and randomly signed by some guy named Jeff who hopes you get better soon). If worn, it allows the user to cast spells with no cost, no matter what their level (user must have and know the spell). Effects last until combat ends. It does make using a 2-handed weapon or shield impossible, and gives -1 on all other weapon attacks, however.

Cursed version breaks the user's arm for real and makes all spell casting impossible for 2 days, and it also does 1D10 damage. But now Jeff's message makes sense. Roll for curse each time you cast a spell.

Good for 3 battles or until it breaks your arm. COST: 5

Chalk of Condemnation

This item is a stick of blood-red chalk that feels sticky to the touch, and is wrapped in a convenient tissue-paper tube. Draw a circle up to 10 feet around you, and no fiend or devil can cross the line. You must be in the circle, however, or the line fails.

Cursed version drains your life force, taking away 1 point from your max HP total as soon as you finish the circle. Also, the circle doesn't have to be perfect. An oval is fine too, if you are artistically challenged.

Good for 2 circles. COST: 2

Chaste and Regenerative Underpants

These unisex and unispecies underwear will prevent all forms of non-consensual (and consensual) sexual activity by cutting off all blood flow to that area of the body and turning hard as steel. Great for birthday gifts when your child comes of age. It's also great for lusty paladins that are having trouble keeping their oaths of chastity. As an added bonus, it auto-stabilizes anyone downed in combat and brings them back up on their next turn with 3 hit points and a smile on their face (don't ask, don't tell).

Cursed version brings them back up again, but with a rather suspicious itch that lasts 2 hours and causes disadvantage on all rolls in that time (once again... don't ask).

Good for 2 regenerations or 2 weeks of wearing. Do wash regularly, please. These don't self-clean.

COST: 4

Coffin Nails

This nail can be nailed into things. But, there's more! Now those things are stuck together forever. As in, for all eternity. No magic, strength or wishful thinking will ever part them again.

Cursed version will cause the two things to repel from each other with the force of a giant's club swing. Best stand aside when hammering this one in. Comes in a bag with four nails. Will not work on ghosts or creatures with a non-solid form.

Helpful tip: If someone nails your hand to the tavern bar as a joke, either enjoy the guilt-free drinking, or remove the hand. Maybe have a few more pints before removing the hand.

COST: 1

Combat Harmonica

This unique item has a metal apparatus that allows it to be worn around the neck and upper chest, keeping it at mouth level without needing to be held in the hand. Blowing into it as a bonus action causes the same effects and damage as viscous mockery to two targets of the user's choice.

Cursed version causes that effect to all allies instead. Sometimes it's the music, more than the lyrics, that cuts deep. Cursed die is rolled on each use.

Good for four sad songs that say so much. COST: 3

Come Back and Party Urn

Cremate and put the ashes of a loved one in this urn. You can stop there if you like, but the real magic happens when you pour in liberal amounts of alcohol and then shake vigorously (do not stir). The deceased returns to life with 1/2 hp and is ready to party. Unfortunately, they are now a complete alcoholic. Being drunk gives them +1 for all rolls. Not being drunk gives them -2 on all rolls. One full bottle of hard liquor is needed per day to maintain the effect.

Cursed version spits out the loved one, and 19 other copies, all still dead and very stinky. Shovel not included. Please note: None of those dead ones can be resurrected via the urn or any other means.

Good for one friend. Choose wisely.

COST: 5

Crown of Kingship

Kings don't fail at anything... or so they think. And who are we to tell them different? Wear this crown of painted gold and succeed on any challenge roll or saving throw until the shine wears off (the paint was cheap and put on thin, so it's not going to last or fool people for long).

Cursed version requires the rest of your team to make a WIS saving throw before any saving throw, challenge roll, or attack. On a failure, they bow towards the wearer of the crown instead of taking the action. Cursed effects last 2 hours M'Lord.

Good for four saving rolls for the gentry and five if you're an actual king.

COST: 2

Flail to Comprehend

This small flail looks like little more than a toy, but it does have four solid metal balls and is not recommended for children. It allows the user to hit a creature and instantly understand its language and be able to speak it. Unfortunately, it does also do 1D6 damage to that creature... which it may not appreciate or personally allow (consent is a tricky thing. How can you ask if they can't understand you?).

Cursed version does the damage to the user and makes them unable to understand ANY language for 12 hours. Anything they try to say just comes out as incoherent mumbling.

Flail away 4 times before all balls are broken and it's useless.

COST: 1

Gator-Aid Potion

Drinking this potion gives you the face and mouth of a gator, allowing a bite attack as a bonus action and providing +2 to AC for the duration of one hour. Bite is +4 to hit and does 1D10+2 damage.

Cursed version turns you into a gator with all its stats for one full day and removes the ability to talk (unless someone casts speak with animals).

AC 12. HP 19. Movement speed: 20ft and swim 30ft. Can hold breath for 15 minutes.

Like a druid, if you die as a full gator you revert to your regular form with HP adjusted accordingly.

Contains one potion. COST: 1

Gossip's Tongue Tea

This is a stylish metal tin of dried tea leaves that grants a +5 to all charisma checks for 2 hours after drinking.

Cursed version makes the user unable to lie and needing a WIS saving throw each minute to avoid blurting out secrets, plans or embarrassing things about themselves or their companions. Both outcomes are very useful, depending on who is drinking it.

Good for five cups of tea. Tea must be drunk while warm or hot.

COST: 1

Grappling Hook of Torments

This item is a heavy hook that resembles a clutching skeletal claw. Attached to a rope, it will always find the best grapple point on any surface without a DEX roll required. When attached, it can hold as much weight as the rope attached to it can. It will also let go when commanded to.

Cursed version grapples there forever and won't release the rope attached to it either. Also, it may finger you or make other rude gestures at any time, cursed or not. Just ignore that. It's trying to get a reaction.

Endless usage... or until it refuses to let go. COST: 2

Graveyard Lantern

This bone-carved lantern emits a sickly green and feeble light for only 10 feet. That may seem useless, but don't be so quick to judge. It also shows the footprints or tracks of anyone/anything that has walked within its radius in the last 24 hours. This adds +5 to all tracking attempts.

Cursed version pulls 3 zombies from the ground who come towards the light and attack anyone within its area, and probably destroy the lantern as well.

COST: 2

Greedy Gullet Bag of Holding

This fleshly leather-like satchel can hold up to 500 lbs of gear or other items in its magical depths, but never weighs more than 10 lbs.

Cursed version will either bite the owner when they take an item out, doing 1D6 damage OR digest the item they were trying to retrieve, destroying it forever. Bag opens to 5 feet in width. If player rolls the cursed version, then roll again. On a second cursed roll, the item is destroyed (0.25% chance of that, so why worry?). Otherwise, you just get the bite, but can still take out the item (which will be unharmed).

Endless usage. COST: 4

Happy Torments Tobacco Pipe

This pipe creates smoke images in the form of happy memories that boost the spirits and gives +2 to any roll of the user's choice within 2 hours of smoking it. It self-lights and creates its own tobacco in a range of flavours.

Cursed version shows a terrible memory and gives -2 to the next roll taken.

Prolonged use may cause cancer, but most adventurers don't live long enough for that to catch up to them, so why worry about it? Management is obligated to put the warning on the box however. You happy now, Charles?

COST: 2

Hellfire Forge Tools

This is a fine set of smithing tools that provide their own knowledge of smithing to the user, even without any other previous experience. A master smith can still do better, but it works at a base competency level, allowing the construction of basic weapons or armour (though you still need the materials and a forge).

Cursed version inflicts any item created with malice, causing the user to take 2 points of damage each time they use the created item within a 12 hour period.

Make an entire cursed set of armour and give it to a rival on their birthday!

Endless usage. COST: 3

Hellfire Matches

These matches can light anything on fire, even underwater. The ignited item will burn like wood and be consumed within 20 minutes (depending on size).

Cursed version sets the user on fire instead, doing 1D8+3 burn damage each turn until they stop, drop and roll. Screaming is optional, but usually a part of the experience of self-immolation.

Box contains seven matches. There were ten, but we had an unhappy employee. As an upside, the new lunchroom is looking great.

COST: 2

Hotel California

Plant this small sign in an open area (of at least 15 x 15) and a hotel appears with bed and food. It's larger inside than out, so don't fret about personal space. All party members can use it for the night without cost. Each character or NPC gets the benefits of a long rest and a good meal. There is no cost.

Cursed version doesn't let you leave until you kill a beast with steely knives (knives provided... beast as well).

Good for three stays, or until the beast thing. COST: 3

"I got time" timepiece

This small pocket watch, when activated as a bonus action, gives another full action on that turn. So.. attack.. activate... attack again.

Cursed version will freeze the user in time for 1 turn, giving advantage on all attacks against them and preventing movement or attacking on their part. It does not keep accurate regular time, so don't rely on it for appointments.

Timepiece is good for 4 uses and then the spring inside tends to stick.

COST: 2

Kevin's Bacon

Eat this strip of perfectly-prepared bacon and you perform a sublime dance routine. In a pub this will shower you with 2D10 x 100 coins.

In battle, it will make one standard-sized target get into a dance-off with you. This lasts 1 full minute, during which the target cannot attack or defend itself (Advantage on all attacks against it by others). But, the user also cannot attack or move outside their 5-foot square - they are too busy grooving. However, it does not grant advantage on attacks against them.

When the dance-off partner is killed, the user regains normal movement and function. When dancing, they can still use dodge as their action to prevent damage, but can take no other actions.

Cursed version just does this to the user and grants advantage to all attacks against them until a minute has passed, or they have.

COST: 1

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